EMOTIONAL HEALTH

EMOTIONAL HEALTH

EMOTIONAL HEALTH

AND WELL-BEING
D e p ression is under-diagnosed in men.
Men are over four times more likely
than women to commit suicide.
Your emotional and mental heath have an effect on everything in your life, from
your relationships with others and your career successes to how long you live.
In this chapter, we’ll talk about some of the ways your emotions affect your
physical health.

STRESS

Stress is an unavoidable fact of life, and all of us suffer from it once in a while.
There are literally thousands of events or situations (both positive and negative)
that can create stress, including:
• Family: Birth of a child, death of a relative, marriage, arguments, divorc e ,
moving to a new house, starting a new school.
• Money: Going into debt, watching the stock market plummet, private
school tuition.
• Wo r k p l a c e : Getting a new promotion, not getting a promotion, not feeling
appreciated, arguing with your boss or a coworker, pushing yourself too
h a r d .
• Your body: I n j u ry, chronic illness, chronic pain, sexual problems, not
getting enough sleep, substance abuse, smoking, poor nutrition.
• O t h e r : Being stuck in traffic when you’re already late, having to make a
speech in public.
When you’re feeling stressed, your heart beats faster, your blood pressure rises,
and your muscles tense. A little bit of stress is actually good for you. It can focus
your attention, give you a sudden burst of strength to get out of a dangerous
situation, motivate you to succeed, and even stimulate your creativity. After
whatever caused the stress has passed, your heart rate returns to normal and you
get on with your life.
But when the cause of your stress doesn’t go away, it starts eating away at your
immune system and increases your risk of developing a number of physical and
mental conditions, including:
• Constant fatigue • Irritable bowels
• Trouble falling or staying asleep • Back and neck pain
• Headaches and backaches • Sexual problems
• Short-term memory loss • Loss of appetite
• Inability to concentrate • Asthma
• Feeling out of control • Heart disease
• Eating, drinking, or smoking when nerv o u s • Diabetes
• Anger and irritability • Stroke

• Paying less attention to your appearance • Cancer
• Paying less attention to your family • Depression
• Stomach ache and indigestion
We all have our individual ways of dealing with stress. You might bite your nails
or sit staring at your computer for hours. Or you might do something more selfdestructive,
like smoke, get drunk, drive too fast, or get into fights. Finding effective
ways to cope with your stress is vital to your physical and mental health.
And the best coping strategies involve making lifestyle changes. Here are a few
suggestions:
• Take care of yourself. E x e rcise, eat well, and get plenty of sleep. If you are
so stressed out that you can’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to
take care of the people in your life who are depending on you.
• M e d i t a t e . Meditation has been shown to lower blood pressure and relieve
tension. This can be as simple as setting aside 10 minutes a day to close
your eyes, clear your mind, and focus on your breathing.
• Talk to someone else. Having a support network of friends or family who
can help you makes a huge difference in your ability to cope.
• Prioritize. Do the most important things first, save the least important
ones for later.
• Know your limits. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen
if I just stopped what I’m doing and walked away?” Your answer might
surprise you.
• D o n ’t self-medicate: no alcohol, tobacco, or drugs.

DEPRESSION

Depression is one of the most common diseases, affecting over 6 million men in
this country. But as common as depression is, it’s also one of the most misunderstood
diseases. Many people believe, for example, that depression is a normal
part of life, something you should just smile and snap out of. It’s not nearly
that simple.
Yes, everyone feels a little down-in-thedumps
once in a while. Maybe you broke
up with a girlfriend, or your new car was
stolen, or you got passed over for that promotion
you’d been counting on. For most
people, these feelings pass after a few days.
But if you’re depressed, those feelings of
sadness or hopelessness or disappointment
d o n ’t pass. You may become obsessed with
negative thoughts and not be able to stop
yourself from focusing on things that have gone wrong, feel that you’re a burden
to others, or that you’re a failure.
Depression has a negative impact on the lives of the people who suffer from
it and those who love them. It can break up marriages, end friendships, harm
parent-child relationships and destroy the depressed person’s health. Depression

is the leading cause of disability in the U.S., sidelining more people than back
problems, heart disease, or injuries.
Although depression is generally considered a mental illness, most depressed
men will have both physical and psychological symptoms, including:
• General aches and pains, such as headache, backache, blurred vision,
i n d i g e s t i o n .
• Constant feelings of sadness or frequent cry i n g .
• A drop in performance on the job or in school.
• Regularly feeling angry, irritable, tense or on edge.
• Withdrawing from people.
• Loss of interest or enjoyment in activities and things you used to like.
• Feelings of guilt for no apparent reason.
• Generalizing problems, meaning that having a problem in one area makes
you feel like your whole life is coming apart.
• Change in sleeping patterns—either sleeping more than usual or less.
• Significant weight loss or gain for no particular reason.
• Loss of self-confidence.
• Decreased ability to make decisions or concentrate.
• Difficulty completing daily tasks (such as returning phone calls, paying
bills, picking up the kids from school or making dinner).
• Trouble finishing projects or delivering on promises.
• Trouble motivating yourself to do anything.
• Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, loneliness, or helplessness.
• Feeling tired and worn down.
• Thoughts of death or suicide.
As devastating as depression can be, the good news is that in most cases it’s treatable.
Unfortunately most men who have depression don’t seek treatment. Some
men don’t know (or don’t want to know) that they have the disease. Other men
are afraid of seeming weak or defective if they admit they suffer from depression.
And in too many cases, men try to solve their problems by self-medicating with
alcohol or drugs.
If you experience any of the above symptoms for more than two weeks, or if you
feel that any of these symptoms are interfering with your life, see a doctor right
a w a y. Not getting the help you need will only make the problem worse for you
and those around you.

CAUSES OF DEPRESSION

In some cases, depression can be caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the
b r a in—specifically a deficit of the chemicals that are responsible for maintaining
energy and boosting mood. Having a family member with depression
increases your risk, and major life events (such as a divorce, physical disability,
b a n k r u p t c y or death) can make depression worse.
TREATING DEPRESSION
The sooner you begin to deal with your depression the better. In many cases,
mild depression can be dealt with by making lifestyles changes, such as:

• Talking to friends or relatives about what’s making you depressed.
• Eliminating drugs or alcohol.
• Setting more realistic goals.
• Making sure you get enough sleep and set aside some time for fun activities.
• Exercising regularly.
• Making an attempt to spend time with people and not isolating yourself.
More severe depression requires medical attention, either by taking medication
or going through psychotherapy, or some combination of the two. If your doctor
does prescribe medication, there are several important things to remember:
• Be patient. Too many men start taking antidepressants but give up after
only a week or so, feeling that they’ve failed. It usually takes two to four
weeks (and sometimes as long as eight weeks) before you’ll become aware
of a change for the better. And sometimes your doctor will have to
experiment with two or three drugs before finding the one that works best
for you.
• Take the drugs exactly as your doctor prescribes them, and keep taking
them until he says to stop. With some you have to start with a low dose
and gradually ramp up.
• Don’t stop taking the medication until your doctor says to. It’s often
tempting to stop taking medication once you begin to feel better. But
sometimes stopping abruptly can be dangerous.
• Discuss the side effects and possible interactions with other medications
that you’re taking.
D o n ’t make the mistake of thinking you can cure your problems by taking some
medication. In most cases, medication is far more effective when combined with
p s y c h o t h e r a p y.

SUICIDE RISK

Failing to treat depression can have many devastating consequences, the most
serious of which is suicide. There are a number of factors that increase the risk of
attempting or succeeding at suicide.
• Being male. Men are four times more likely than women to kill themselves.
• Being a teenager or senior citizen.
• Getting a divorce, particularly if you have children.
• Drug and/or alcohol use.
• Being isolated. People who live alone or who don’t have friends are at a
higher risk.